Temperature Play: What Is It? How To Do It.
If you haven't tried Temperature Play – or haven't even heard of it! – now is the time to try this fun addition to sex. We all know that the body reacts to heat and cold, and when you use these reactions in sex play, it's a dynamite combination.
Start by adding warm skin sensitivity to your foreplay. You can do this in very simple ways by using your warm breath. Blow or breathe gently on your partner's skin, especially over sensitive spots like nipples, the base of the neck, or on the ears. Just before oral sex, take a few swallows of comfortably hot liquid: water, lemonade, tea...whatever's your favorite. Then go down south! It'll be a sensation your partner never forgets!
If you've seen the hot-wax candle-dripping technique in movies, you may have wanted to try it. Or wanted to avoid it! But this can be as mild or as intense as you want it to be, from hot to just warm. The big secret is in the distance from the candle to the body. As wax drips through the air it cools, so by the time it hits skin it can be comfortably warm. Start by tipping the candle about 12- 14" away from the skin and see how that feels. Test it first on a part of the body that's not as sensitive as the erogenous zones, like the back of your arm or hand. You can always move it farther away or closer. Use plain, unscented and undyed paraffin candles rather than beeswax, which tends to burn hotter. One thing you definitely want to avoid is areas with hair – keep in mind that you'll be peeling the wax off later!
If the warm stuff heats up your love life, oddly enough, so does cold. The movie "9 ½ Weeks" showed us the ultimate in chill thrills when a hot young Mickey Rourke ran an ice cube lightly down Kim Basinger's body. Men love this treatment as well as women, and it really wakes you up when your partner chills you out. Try the ice cube treatment in the summer, when you're both hot and sweaty!
Dildos and waterproof vibrators are particularly good for temperature play, and couples who have tried it say they love the sensations. This simply involves dipping the sex toy in hot or cold water, or chilling it in the refrigerator (NOT the freezer! See the safety note below). Two of the best materials for this are silicone and glass. Glass sex toys are made of special borosilicate glass, designed to hold warm or cold temperatures. Plus, there's the visual thrills: glass sex toys are so beautiful that many of them are works of art. Silicone is a flexible, rubber-like material that holds heat and cold very well.
To keep nipples cold, chill a couple of quarters in the refrigerator!
IMPORTANT SAFETY NOTE: While it's okay to chill sex toys in the refrigerator, NEVER freeze them, especially a toy that's going to be inserted into the vagina or rectum. First: it could stick to the skin, causing tears. Second, there are a lot of small blood vessels in these orifices and lowering the blood temperature could cause shock or worse. So keep it cool, but not frozen!