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A Better Sex Halloween

Is Your Love Life Scary?
If you answered this question even a moderate "Yes" you are not alone. We know we can’t be happy without a rewarding sex life, yet we assume having great sex is free, an automatic grant. How did we arrive at such a conclusion we wonder. Is anything worth having in life free? Put aside our free stuff and the answer to this question is always "No".

Creating Your Better Sex Halloween
October is a great month to improve your sex life. Kids are back in school, days are shorter, there is a slight chill in the air and romance thrives in the fall. October is special because it ends with a day of fantasy. You have to love a month that sets aside a day to let you play dress up and act like someone else.

A Better Sex Halloween Defined
Everyday is an opportunity to create the life you want. We realize that sounds like Deepak or Tony Robbins. We would refine the statement to, "Any day is an opportunity to create the sex life you want." This is our company’s goal. This article uses Halloween as an excuse to redefine your sex life, to share tips that will get you out of your sexual rut. Here are five steps guaranteed to help you have better sex this Halloween.

Top 5 Better Sex Halloween Sex Tips

Better Sex Halloween Tip #1: Sandwich Method
We discussed the Sandwich Method extensively in The Better Sex Video Series®. The idea creates a simple and safe way to add something new to your sex life. It is easy to try new things in a way that insures their failure. Throw something new unannounced and unexplained into your sex life and prepare for a truly SCARY night. The Sandwich Method says treat new things like fillings in a sandwich. Start with your usual sexual routine, the things you know work (or work sort of). Starting with what you know works is one of the pieces of bread in our sandwich. Next, introduce the new thing such as a new sex toy, sex position or sexual fantasy. The new thing is our sandwich filling. Don’t let the new thing dominate. Return to your routine, the other piece of bread, and finish up strong. You may want to use the Sandwich Method the first few times you try something new. Use Sandwich Method until something is broken in and established as part of your routine. The final step is to DISCUSS your reactions with your partner. Did you like the new sex toy or position? Be specific. "Yeah it was fine," answers are hard. Tell your partner details of what you liked and didn’t. Together make a decision about if your new filling becomes part of your love making and how often. You may like something but only see it as an occasional treat. You may dislike it and never want to go there again. By surrounding the new thing with part of your regular sexual routine, the bread of your sex life, you should feel good about the sex you just had even if the new sandwich is just not right for you.

Better Sex Halloween Tip #2: New Sex Positions
The cliché says location, location and location is the key to selling your home. The key to improving your sex life may be sex positions, sex positions and sex positions. Both of our best selling DVD’s, The Better Sex Video Series® and Great Sex For A Lifetime™ spend a lot of teaching time on sex positions (too numerous to review here). Sex educators and therapists we work with stress experimenting with new sex positions. They believe new sex positions help patients reinvigorate intimacy. Different sex positions provide different sensations for him and her. Some positions help stimulate a woman’s clitoris and others keep stress of a man’s knees and back. What works best for you and your partner is determined by experimentation, fun Halloween sex experimentation. We’ve included our Art of Sex Positions Free this month (you may select it as one of your free gifts during check out), so we can help you find a new position or two for free. Remember to use Better Sex Halloween Tip #1: Sandwich Method when trying your new sex position.

Better Sex Halloween Tip #3: Everyday and NOW
Better Halloween Sex doesn’t fall of a tree or a truck. You make better sex happen by what you do every minute of every day. This may sound strange. We are not implying you are having sex every moment. We are insisting that how you live your life plays a critical role in how good (or bad) your sex life becomes. Better Sex, unlike Halloween, is not a one day affair. Think of your routine today. Did you make time to listen to your partner? What did he/she tell you at breakfast this morning? If you can’t remember you aren’t listening. How does it feel when people don’t listen to you? Did you create a protected space of time for you and your partner to just be together yesterday? Yesterday was Sunday so no excuses for not finding quality time together. Again, if the answer is no then you are hurting your sex life. Better Halloween sex comes from how you treat your partner the 30 days before Halloween. Better Halloween sex also comes from how you are being right this minute. If you hold a special place in your hectic and activity filled mind for her (or him) then you are on your way to a Better Sex Halloween. Living in this moment, Eckhart Tolle’s "NOW", is important and holding loved ones there with you is a great way to discover better sex and not just on Halloween.

Better Sex Halloween Tip #4: Slippery When Wet
We riffed a Better Sex Blog article recently about how you can never be too rich, too thin or have too much lubrication. Trying something new without copious supplies of lubricant is truly frightening. We have our Better Sex Essentials in our sample area and WE RUN OUT OF LUBRICANT. Think about hat for just a second. All we have to do is walk down stairs and grab a few bottles of our lubricant (for free) and we run out. When the lubricant gets good to you it goes very fast. We will include a smaller bottle of our Essentials lube in our free gifts area this month so you too can try for free, but our advice is buy 3 and replenish when you get down to 1 full bottle. Think of this "Buy 3" rule as the Sandwich Method for lubricant and you will have better Halloween Sex.

Better Sex Halloween Tip #5: Fantasy, Fantasy, Fantasy
If you can’t create an amazing fantasy on Halloween then you have a bigger problem than we can solve here. Three things make fantasies work:

• Suspension of disbelief
• Costumes, setting and desire
• Staying close to what you know

• Suspension of Disbelief
  If you like to go to movies have as much as we do then you already practice suspension of disbelief. When you see Julia Roberts as a hooker you know she is probably the best paid hooker on the planet at $20,000,000 for the movie. You suspend disbelief. If you are going to have a fantasy that involves your partner you must suspend disbelief. You have to see them as character not your girlfriend, husband or your children’s mother. Nothing will kill suspension of disbelief faster than thinking of your partner in their usual roles.

• Costumes, setting and desire
  Does Julia Roberts try to be a hooker dressed like she is about to hit the red carpet? No because the movie going audience would not believe Julia was a hooker if she wasn’t wearing the appropriate costume. Same is true for your bedroom fantasy. No costume = no sex fantasy. We have a variety of better sex costumes and lingerie, but so does just about every mall (Victoria Secret, Hendricks, even Macy’s), so no excuse not to have a costume that fits your fantasy by this Halloween. Setting is important too. If you are going to "do it" in the usual place you must create a setting, a stage, for your Halloween sex fantasy. Candles are good unless you use them all the time. Good sets hit all senses. You see, smell, touch and taste something different. Hit every sense with something different and related to your fantasy to make your Halloween sex fantasy come true. Desire is aligning your fantasy with your partner. If you want to be tied up and he was a sailor you are good to go. If she can’t tie her shoes then some study is required. Our advice is use October’s 30 days to set the stage, study up, align your desires and have your first fantasy sex on Halloween night. It may take several weeks to find and learn everything you need. On Halloween night turn the porch lights off, put the bowl on the front stoop with a "please take one" note and create the sex life you really want this Halloween.

• Staying Close To What You Know
  If you’ve always wanted to have sex with a hooker and your partner is conservative don’t start with the "hooker fantasy". If she thinks cops are powerful and good looking and you thought about being a cop (in another life) then create the cop fantasy. If he thinks Carrie Fisher on Jabba The Hut’s lap was the hottest woman in film then create the Star Wars fantasy. Stay close to what you know so suspension of disbelief is possible and fun.

Did you have a Better Sex Halloween?
Please share how you created your Better Sex Halloween so we can anonymously share here. Best Better Sex Halloween story wins a $200 shopping spree on BetterSex.com.
Send Your Better Sex Halloween Story to: siiweb @ bettersex .com

Halloween Costume Contest
If you have a great Halloween costume enter our Better Sex Halloween Costume Contest to win a $200 shopping spree. Use the link below to learn how to enter:

About the Author:
This article was written by Martin Smith, Director of E-Commerce, and Sinclair Institute & BetteSex.com. Martin is a regular contributor to the Better Sex Blog and he may be reached at msmith @ BetterSex . com.
Anyone may use up to 100 words of any Better Sex content when including a link to BetterSex.com. Please do not duplicate more than 100 words unless express written permission has been granted. Send requests to use Better Sex content to siiweb @ BetterSex . com.